Tuesday, December 22, 2009

My Gift To You

I live in a fantasy world. In this world Democracy is a euphemism for State Sponsored Slavery. Capitalism is an Oligarchy Of The Rich. And the whole purpose of Free Market Economies is, as Hakim Bey so rightly put it, "the commodification of damn near everything." I call this fantasy world America, and those who live there, Americans.

For eleven months of their year, Americans are only concerned with instantly gratifying the many and varied desires their televisions impresses upon them. To this end they slave away for little green pieces of paper which they use exclusively to purchase ungodly amounts of shit they do not need. They say it gives their lives meaning, that they are these possessions they enslave themselves to obtain. But during the last month they suddenly extrovert their desires and take a tremendous interest in their friends and family - instead of spending all their money on themselves, they spend it all on their friends. This also makes them happy. They say it is all to celebrate the birth of a man who conveniently failed to practice what he preached during his moment of truth. They like it when their heroes fall from grace. It reminds them of themselves.

I think it's all bullshit, but I am unfortunately a part of this world. It is my belief that the only way out of something is through it. So until we as a collective come up with a good idea or three to distance ourselves from all this madness, I have to play along. I have to fit in, or at least pretend to. So then, with that in mind, I present my gift to you: the Magrudergrind - Shitstorm Split released on Robotic Empire Records. It contains the best work to date from both bands and features the fantastic artwork of John Baizley. This is far and away one of my favorite splits. Ever. Now if by chance you already have this, than please allow me to point something else out about the people I live with: they are insanely passive-aggressive. The proper course of action is to smile politely and say, "Thank you; it is the thought that counts," and then, after I walk away, proceed to talk with your friends about how I am the embodiment of everything you hate. It is only fair.

Cheers.

7 comments:

King Cripple said...

Is there a more fake time of year than the holidays? I mean, how many people put on a smile, attend a religious service and act like it is so good to see their relatives yet feel miserable by having to do all of those things?

I really have nothing in common with the majority of my family. I only need to withstand the initial 30-40 minute barrage of all the usual questions before things settle down. I am a cripple and have no issue with playing that card in this context, so I will eventually find a quiet place to bring out the ol' CD player and let the waves of metal drown out the bullshit. I just got this year's package in the mail yesterday: Slugathor, Evil Army and Dishammer. A happy holiday, indeed!

Cheers to all you fellas at Chainsaw Justice and best of luck at surviving the holidays.

Flesh Monolith said...

Excellent stuff 206. As big a MG fan I am I've never explored their past works, and for that I am thankful.

Insightful, and intelligent you belittle me when I would simply disclose my favorite phrase in the world.

"Extreme Conditions Demand Extreme Responses"

The riots in greece over the past year sent a message, political mobilization is a must, things must come to everyone's attention that we're fucked. The only way i could see this happening is taking it to the streets.

"Fuck the system that fucks you everyday."

Flesh Monolith said...

And the only monachry i'd ever support is our dear ol' King Cripple. Thanks for the support, as always, dude.

Niro Kulendrarajah said...

Hakim Bey's a great writer. I liked TAZ quite a bit, a big departure from the usual political writings one usually reads.

Although not associated with the Holiday season, I remember that poor fellow who got trampled during that black Friday sale at a Walmart. similar things happen at this time as well

Despite being a fan of bands like Dropdead, Weekend Nachoes and other associated bands, I have never heard a single magrudergrind song. Just the thing for me to listen to during this break. Happy holiday fellas!

Andrew Childers said...

*stamps foot in a huff*
now what the fuck am i supposed to get you for saturanlia? that's the holiday you were talking about, right?

206 said...

I majored in Ancient Rome. You can whip out a few Latin quips in your next review!

Gravemarker said...

Mirror: http://www.mediafire.com/?gzmzmznmknn