Jesus Crost - 010

Jesus Crost Space
Release: 2010
Format: CD
label: Bones Bridage

The two leisure activities that interest me the most in life are listening to grind and watching football. And I'm not joking: I intentionally work nights so I can be awake European hours, I have every "soccer" channel DirectTV offers, and I schedule my vacations around World Cup and the Summer Olympics. Either I am not alone or Jesus Crost figured out the path of least resistance to my wallet - Wear your team's kit, toss a football on your album cover and describe yourself as "Hooligan power violence."

010 is 23 songs in 15 minutes. The closest similarity I can think of, from a song writing stand point, is Japanische Kampfhörspiele. Like Jaka, the songs are more like haiku, each with their own themes and intentions. And Like Jaka the band write quick hitting, catchy riffs that lesser bands would design 3-minute songs around. There is plenty of stop-and-go action, groove, variety and just enough aggression to live up to their hooligan moniker. A good example of the band's more patient side is "Parasit" which is up on their MySpace. You can also hear "Wurfloch" and "Gonorrhoea" while you are there to get a good grasp of their ADHD side. For everything in between you have to get the CD.

One of the reasons I enjoy this album so much is how short it is. I will be the first to admit how I would like the band to expand on their riffs. But there are so many notable ones, and they are spaced out well across the 15 minute run time. It always seems like the good ones come back around just in time to keep me listening. Also, for any one who was turned off by the bonus tracks on Tot, rest assured, 010 does not have continuity issues. This one is highly recommended. It may not change your world but I doubt many will dislike it.

Now, unless anyone else minds, I'm off to watch the Tenerife - Real Madrid replay while I kill the seven hours until the Premiership kicks off.

Joe Pesci - At Our Expense

Joe Pesci MySpace
Release: 2009
Type: CD
Label: Bones Brigade

I'm like a 3-way split when it comes to bands named after thespians. One part of me doesn't care, another doesn't get the appeal and the third is waiting for an all-female band called Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio. In the end it's all about the music, right? Joe Pesci the band has nearly everything we have come to expect from the actor: short songs, a pissed off attitude and an uncompromising approach. The only difference is that any project the actor signs his name to is going to have a production and marketing budget big enough to feed Sudan until the Mayan calendar ends. Conversely "At Our Expense" sounds like it was ripped from vinyl by holding a boombox to the output speaker. Like all poorly produced albums though you can increase your chances or enjoyment by turning it up a notch or three.

Just don't crank it up too loudly because, ironically, the few samples this album contains are actually mastered properly, i.e. twice as loud as the music - so you'll blow your ears if one of those pop up unexpectedly. That is really the only downer. Your ears adjust to the production just in time for a sample to fuck up your equilibrium and you have to adjust all over again. But let you be warned: any one who passes on this because it sounds like it was recorded in a caravan is a pretentious bastard.

The band serves up 17 helpings which is a solid number in most necks of the wood. Since the band's motto is Play Fast Or Don't, it should come as no surprise that this one is over mere seconds after the run time hits 15 minutes. It's quite a ride though. As the play list breezes by you get the impression that Joe Pesci could easily play any brand of extreme metal. They play throw-away slam riffs at light speed, crust at ridiculous speed and just to prove they have more than a cuisinart in the engine room, they twist out crossover riffs at ludicrous speed. The better riffs are of course subjective. For my cup of tea take for example the Assuck meets Discoradance Axis riffs in Sticking My Carbon Footprint Up Your Arse and at the end of Funkhouser. Or the wicked death metal riff that appears out of nowhere in the middle of Mindless Zombified Fucks. Not to be outdone, you can have both of those examples in one compact, 51-second helping that is Hyper-Real.

But don't stop there. Call it Fastcore. Call it Powerviolence. Call it as you see it. The whole point of At Our Expense is speed and attitude. Your best bet is to make full use of the 'repeat' button on your media device and go along for the ride. Check Joe Pesci out here, go buy it here or here, and then tell your friends about them while you wait.

Sylvester Staline - split with FUBAR

Sylvester Staline MySpace
FUBAR MySpace
Release: 2009
Type: CD
Label: Bones Brigade

("We smoke this marijuana in your honor, Satan.")

This next band the Chainsaw Justice crew offers for your listening enjoyment comes to you with the 206-grind Stamp Of Approval. The great thing about them is that who they are depends more on your opinion of the genre than on my review. The long version: They Grind too much to be considered Powerviolence and they are far too Punk to be considered Grind. The short version: they are Stoner Punk Grind. Ladies and gentlemen, it is both my extreme pleasure and distinguished honour to present to you: Sylvester Staline. If you like punk, second-wave powerviolence, weed and a healthy slathering of blastbeats then look no further. If you don't then you can leave.

Right. For the adventurous who remained, you are going to love this band. Of the many things I dig about this EP, what stands out the most is the impression that it was all recorded in one take. You know what I'm talking about: an almost-live production, organic drums and a steady dose of feedback. Feedback rings in the EP, it fills the gap between songs and chimes in each channel when ever a guitar pauses. Through its sonic mesh the drummer clicks his sticks four times and another song is born. Of course, there is only one guitarist, so there were at least two sessions required to get the stereo effect. But all the songs "feel" like they were captured live, like the band packed themselves into the same room, pressed "record" and let it rip. Just based on hearing this EP I can safely assume they kick major ass live. All they need is a modicum of stage presence - the songs will do the rest.

The vocals are ejaculated rapidly in that monosyllabic powerviolence style. Think early Magrudergrind meets ManMadePredator era Leng Tch'e. So far as lyrics go, don't worry about the fact that you can only understand four words. Here is a basic primer: smoke weed, and if you don't smoke weed, fuck you. Take "Get Revolutionary" as an example:
Politicians are twats, they don't smoke weed
Police is shit, they don't smoke weed
Get revolutionary, smoke weed.

The riffs follow suit, either keeping pace with the lyrical presentation or taking the two-step approach, covering the full gamut from classic punk licks on to proper grind and all the way to fastcore. The whole set list, from front to back, is focused and energetic. It's music more commonly associated with skating, running from cops after tagging a billboard or trashing a house during a kegger. But for Sylvester Staline, it's the perfect backdrop for a bong session. Yet sadly, it's just an EP. The track list breezes by. There are stand out moments, like the beginning of "Through the Eyes of Weed," the crossover riffing of "Problems in Life," the grinding fury of "Legalize It" and the metallic crust in "Get Revolutionary." These moments are not entirely enough though. For best results I recommend listening to the EP straight through. Repeatedly.

And when you've had your fill of Sylvester Staline, let the disk spin on to track 18. Here begins FUBAR, who offer a nice contrast of style and approach - which is the whole point of splits if you haven't figured out already. Their production is a little murkier but that is essential: they have to make room for three vocal styles and a graduate of the G.C. Green School Of Bass. In 12 songs they cover all the angles of the genre, from classic punk minimalism in "Crawling" to the head-on collision of hardcore and crust in "Not Even You." The staple is loads of deep, distorted, almost out of place but fittingly just right bass. When they want to, FUBAR is as intense as anyone. But they pick and choose their moments, opting to focus their songs around the vocals. In this sense they have an old school approach to song writing. Not verse-chorus-verse but patient. I like it. FUBAR is the type of band who could open for Abscess and if the scene kids were not paying attention they would think Abscess came back and played an encore set.

I enjoyed both bands. They play the same type of music in two distinctly different ways which makes questions of who "won" the split rather meaningless. It's an apples to oranges discussion, like arguing between Exploited and Black Flag. Sure, someone is going to do it, but you know they love both bands and just want to play devil's advocate. You are formally invited to check it out. You are then strongly encouraged to buy it. I've had only good experiences with Bones Brigade. Great people.